Helping Your Child Cope with Exam Stress: A Parent’s Guide from Primary School to University

Exam time can be stressful – not just for children, but for parents too. As a parent, it's natural to want your child to succeed, but it's just as important to help them manage the pressure. Stress can affect sleep, mood, concentration, and even physical health.

The good news is, there are simple, research-backed ways to support your child at every stage of their education.

Here’s how you can help – whether they’re in primary school, secondary school, college, or university.

Primary School (Ages 5–11): Building Exam Confidence Early

In the UK, primary school children take SATs in Year 2 and Year 6. While these tests help assess learning progress, they shouldn't feel overwhelming. At this age, children often worry about pleasing adults or fear getting things “wrong”.

What You Can Do:

• Keep it in perspective: Reassure them that tests are just a way to show what they’ve learned, not a measure of their worth.

• Focus on effort, not results: Praise how hard they’ve tried rather than whether they got everything right.

• Make learning fun: Use games, storytelling, or apps to revise in an engaging way.

• Stick to routines: Regular sleep, healthy meals, and outdoor play help with focus and wellbeing.

• Watch for signs of stress: Tearfulness, tummy aches, or reluctance to go to school can be signs your child is anxious.

Research tip: According to the Education Endowment Foundation, a calm, predictable home environment helps young children feel secure and ready to learn.

Secondary School (Ages 11–16): Supporting the Teen Years

Secondary school students face bigger exams like GCSEs. Peer pressure, social media, and future worries can all add to the stress.

What You Can Do:

• Help them plan: Work together on a revision timetable. Small chunks of study with breaks are more effective than cramming.

• Offer a quiet space: Make sure they have somewhere peaceful to revise, free from distractions.

• Talk – but don’t push: Let them know you’re there if they want to talk, but don’t force it. Teens often open up more in low-pressure situations (like in the car or while cooking).

• Limit screen time near bedtime: The NHS recommends avoiding screens for at least an hour before sleep to improve rest.

• Encourage healthy coping habits: Exercise, hobbies, and time with friends are not a “waste of time” – they help the brain reset and improve memory.

Research tip: Studies from the Mental Health Foundation show that emotional support from parents helps reduce anxiety in teens during exam periods.

College (Ages 16–18): Encouraging Independence

At this stage, students take A-levels, BTECs, or other qualifications. The pressure to get into university or secure apprenticeships can feel intense.

What You Can Do:

• Be a sounding board, not a manager: Encourage them to take ownership of their studies, but be available to listen or help problem-solve if they’re struggling.

• Check in without judgement: “How’s revision going?” is better than “Have you revised enough?”

• Normalise asking for help: Many colleges offer wellbeing support or counselling – remind them it’s okay to use it.

• Be realistic with expectations: Focus on doing their best, not perfection. Celebrate progress, however small.

• Promote balance: Make sure they’re eating well, getting rest, and taking breaks. Burnout helps no one.

Research tip: According to UCAS and YouthSight research, students who feel supported at home are more likely to stay motivated and positive during exam times.

University (Ages 18+): Supporting From a Distance

University students often face end-of-year exams or dissertations. While they may no longer live at home, your role as a parent is still valuable.

What You Can Do:

• Stay connected: Regular texts, calls, or care packages can show you’re thinking of them without being overbearing.

• Encourage self-care: Sleep, nutrition, and time off are just as important now as they were in primary school.

• Don’t downplay their stress: Even if you’ve been through uni yourself, each generation faces new challenges. Listen first, advise second.

• Know the signs of burnout: If they seem withdrawn or overwhelmed, encourage them to speak to their university’s wellbeing services – all UK universities have support teams.

• Celebrate effort, not just outcome: Remind them it’s okay to feel uncertain – this stage of life is full of change.

Research tip: A 2023 report from Student Minds found that regular parental support – even from afar – helps students feel less isolated and better able to manage academic pressures.

Final Thoughts

No matter your child’s age, your support makes a difference. Exams are important, but they’re not everything. Teaching your child how to manage stress, take care of their mental health, and keep perspective will serve them far beyond test day.

Remember: it’s not about being perfect – it’s about being present.